


Ten Thousand Things I Hate About You

by StellaLuna365



Series: Anchors in Oceans of Embers and Ash [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Andrew Minyard would do literally anything for Neil Josten, Angst, But literally only the name of the abuser, Cute, Fluff, Gen, Nightmares, No Beta, POV Andrew Minyard, Protective Andrew Minyard, Rooftops, Slight TW for Past Non/Con, We Die Like Men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellaLuna365/pseuds/StellaLuna365
Summary: Andrew Minyard hates Neil Josten with every fiber of his being.Despite his constant desire to ignore the morons of Neil’s team, he is observant enough to realize that no one, including Neil, believes him when he says that.He doesn’t know why he hates Neil Josten so much, but it’s a mystery he won’t mind taking his time to solve.A drabble of how much Andrew hates Neil, and why that hatred is the only thing he can let himself feel. It's cute, I promise.
Relationships: Neil Josten & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Anchors in Oceans of Embers and Ash [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046821
Comments: 1
Kudos: 151





	Ten Thousand Things I Hate About You

Andrew Minyard hates everything, and he hates Neil Josten more than most things. But the thing Andrew hates the most is to feel.

In some senses, he preferred the drugs. He didn’t have to feel on his medication. He hates it, like he hates everything, but in moments of quiet solitude on the roof or at night in bed, he could allow himself to quit hating for just a moment and enjoy the giddy feeling of utter insanity. Because insane people don’t feel. They don’t hurt, they don’t care, and they don’t fear.

Andrew Minyard hates fear with everything he is, but he hates safety more, because safety is a pretty social construct made to help the weak-minded survive a cruel world. Nowhere is ever safe.

One day, he realizes exactly what about Neil Josten he despises so incredibly much.

It’s midnight, and he has crept to the roof for a cigarette that turned into six. He’s nursing the dying cig, watching the smoke trail towards the stars with his head tilted back, when the squeaking of the rooftop door permeates the nice bubble of isolation he’s created.

He knows who it is before they say a word.

“Go away.”

“I don’t want to,” Neil says, carefully parking himself next to Andrew on the ledge. Andrew doesn’t miss the wince as his puts pressure on his still-healing hands, and his mind is once again filled with bloody daydreams of what he’d love to do to the Butcher and his crew. “You weren’t there when I woke up.”

He hates that dismissal. He hates that casual reminder of their new habit, of sleeping in the same bed. Not touching, but still. He hates the subtle need in Neil’s voice.

“Maybe I want to be alone.”

“Maybe I don’t.”

Andrew cuts his eyes in Neil’s direction and silently hands him an unlit cigarette and a lighter.

Neil hesitates, then lights it and takes a deep drag, so deep his eyes pinch against the burn, and then he coughs slightly. “Thanks.”

Andrew rolls his eyes.

It’s silent for a little while longer. Andrew hates it less than the rest of it all.

“Andrew?”

Andrew glances to the side. Neil’s hand is hovering over his, fixed on the ledge, waiting for a yes or no.

He hates the easy question. The lack of inconvenience or confusion.

“Yes.”

Neil takes his hand, and Andrew feels Neil’s shoulders relax even though only their hands are touching. Neil interlocks their fingers and takes another drag.

“I had a nightmare,” he volunteers. Andrew listens. “About Lola, and the lighter. She wouldn’t stop.”

“She did,” Andrew reminds. “She’s dead.”

“I know.”

He opens his mouth to continue, but Andrew cuts him off. “If you tell me you’re fine, I will shove you off this rooftop.”

Andrew Minyard hates that instead of cowering, like others, Neil Josten smiles. “No, you won’t.”

Andrew hates even more that Neil is right.

“I want to put my head on your shoulder. Yes or no?”

Andrew hesitates. He is not good today. Taut and tense with the ability to feel. It’s been difficult adjusting to _feeling_ again, without the numbing drugs. He knows that if he says no, Neil won’t bring it up again. Won’t ask. He hates that.

“Yes.”

He hates that he can’t say no to Neil Josten.

He feels warmth on his shoulder as Neil scoots closer, then the weight of his idiot’s thick skull on his collarbone, and he feels Neil shaking.

He hates the hatred that wells inside of him, and his mind is once again consumed with a lengthy, colorful list of all the things he’d do to Lola if she were still alive.

“You are safe,” he says, his voice falling slightly, losing the bitter edge. “We made a deal. I’ll protect you.”

Neil smiles. He can’t see it, but Andrew knows it happens. “We broke our deal, remember?”

“I put it back in place, seeing as you seem to find life-threatening situations a hobby.”

“Maybe I just like to keep you on your toes.”

“Yet another thing I hate about you.”

“Okay, Andrew.”

He hates the sarcasm.

In the quiet still night, with Neil against his side, Andrew lets himself feel.

That’s what he hates the most about Neil Josten. Neil makes him _feel_ again.

He feels protective, and scared when Neil isn’t beside him. He feels angry when he feels or sees the scars, and he’s even content when Neil is smiling. He feels content when Neil is happy.

And when Neil is beside him, Andrew feels safe. He feels safe because he knows Neil will never be like Drake, and that is a dangerous, dangerous feeling.

So, yes. Andrew Minyard hates Neil Josten with every fiber of his being, because he has a horrible habit of reminding Andrew that he is human in the best possible ways.

Andrew presses his lips to Neil’s scalp. “I hate you.”

“I know,” Neil smiles.

The cigarette butts litter the roof, long since extinguished, but they stay on the roof a long time, in the safety of each other.

…

Andrew Minyard hates Neil Josten with every fiber of his being.

Despite his constant desire to ignore the morons of Neil’s team, he is observant enough to realize that no one, including Neil, believes him when he says that. Despite how often Andrew reiterates the fact for his stupid partner who just can’t seem to get it through his thick skull. Despite the steadily rising percentage of hatred.

However, it’s the truth. Andrew hates everything about Neil, and though it would take far too long to list everything, he finds himself accumulating reasons to hate him with every interaction they have.

He doesn’t know why he hates Neil Josten so much, but it’s a mystery he won’t mind taking his time to solve.

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote for kicks and giggles. Hope you enjoy :) let me know!


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